Bintie 5


n. the study of the habits and behaviour of a vague nerdthing

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Tachycardia, hooray
Exam technique
Last time I was really heart-palpatationingly stressed I checked my heart rate and it was up at 92, which I thought was crazy high, but apparently not having done a 30%-of-the-grade essay by ten in the evening before it's due is nothing compared to the stress I find myself in when faced with one of my mum's dinner party moods.

Apparently that sort of stress puts me up around 100 or more, which is considered mild tachycardia in humans (though I am quite small and unfit, so maybe it's not that bad.  My problem is that I never think to check my normal heart rate).

Pesach starts tomorrow and I keep feeling myself being a bitch about it.  I've been in my room almost the entire day to keep away from my mum, even though she spent quite a bit of time clunking things around just outside my door as she cleaned.  Why are you cleaning the bathroom for Pesach.  Why. 

We're having both nights Seder here, which is something we've never done.  My mum is prone to going ballistic while she prepares for one normal dinner party, but this is so so much more...she's changed around all the food in the fridge and moved a select group of non-Pesach food over to a cupboard two cupboards away from where it was.  She's stressing out over fish and cooking and the whole house stinks of chicken soup (another reason to hide in my room). 

I'm being obnoxious because I'm always obnoxious when I'm pushed into a corner.  It's an unhelpful defence mechanism.  So mum knows that I intend on spending next week eating my giant Easter bunny that my boss gave me and going on an icecream crawl with my friends.  And that's making her more touchy, which has left me in a sort of permenant minor panic attack mode (hence the elevated heart rate from a teen minute trip downstairs). 

Thankfully I'm going out this afternoon (to see Terry Pratchett talk to Garth Nix :D), but that doesn't help the fact that on top of all this stupid Pesach stress I have a pathology exam on Wednesday that I'll barely have time to study for because of Pesach and because Sivan is moving to my room for the next week because we have family friends coming.  The increased exposure to people, self-hating Jewness and fear of path may drive me mad.

I have to get through it though, because I've decided that I want to knit myself a proper Ravenclaw scarf before July.

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You'll be allright :) but it ain't easy times...

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